how lucky one can be when you can run your fingers to your childs hair at anytime, when you can kiss their sleeping cheeks and hear the sounds of their sleeps. when you can hear them calling you, needing you all the time though there is none that they want but just be with you, see you.
lucky it is ....
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
Thursday, March 25, 2010
reading glass
you have once asked me for a reading glass and you are grabbing anything you can see from me, frames that i dont use. at that time i hesitate to pay attention to any of it. i know nothing about it to contribute further but now understood how convenient it is to have one. if ive only known, i would have got you a new one with string and anything that goes with it.
how i wish i can take care of you now ... i love you so much! lina
how i wish i can take care of you now ... i love you so much! lina
Thursday, February 18, 2010
thinking of you
more often i do think of you and i wish im in the computer so i can blog what i am thinking or what i do remember.
today driving to work i was thinking of you and it hurts how it feels that i will never see you again. i wish to see you. there are too many moments that i want to share with you. there were news about avell, krispin, kerks or what noel cooked for me that i want to share with you, it is very exciting if i know that i cant wait to tell you but you are gone. i am still excited to tell friends but its different.
i remember when i gave birth to avell. i was keeping her name for so long, thought of it month of may 2008 and gave birth october. i cant wait to tell you what her name is, i kept that name until i gave birth and i promise myself that i will tell it to you 1st. i know you will be excited - you will understand and as i thought you will feel that you have hold her next to you when you 1st heard avell.
krispin is one who never fail to make me feel he loves me everyday. i cant count on my finger how many times he will say 'i love you so much' not just i love you but there is always the so much.
kerks is different na, we were even planning to visit philippines kahit sya lang to visit you but now you're gone. im still trying to discuss with him na at least kahit sya bumisita sa pinas. kung sya lang i can afford it. you will be surprise sana everyone is.
something bad happened to me late last year. i was in a long week of anger and depression. but after the anger and depression i feel i am relieved, happy in fact not to the point that im happy that someone will be carrying guilt of sin (maybe for a lifelong) noh, iam not happy about that. i am happy because i knew that i will not be breathing of that unpleasant air of depression, that i will not be angry anymore.
i even cry when i feel the freedom, the relief of that feeling for 8 long years. no more humiliation, no more thinking what ive said and not will not please her, the chain of that suffering is over. the undirect hurtful words that i hear over and over again will no longer haunt me. for that i thank God above sincerely, its good to be free.
what i was thinking today and most of those days though is you, when i am crying over it. we will be walking hand in hand sa neighborhood saying hello to your friends while talking about it. i could have told you everything, you will share my pain and my courage at the same time - for that i misses you so much.
i did say and felt the pain of other and learned this quote: it is bitter to taste your own medicine and even too painful if you injected it to yourself.
today driving to work i was thinking of you and it hurts how it feels that i will never see you again. i wish to see you. there are too many moments that i want to share with you. there were news about avell, krispin, kerks or what noel cooked for me that i want to share with you, it is very exciting if i know that i cant wait to tell you but you are gone. i am still excited to tell friends but its different.
i remember when i gave birth to avell. i was keeping her name for so long, thought of it month of may 2008 and gave birth october. i cant wait to tell you what her name is, i kept that name until i gave birth and i promise myself that i will tell it to you 1st. i know you will be excited - you will understand and as i thought you will feel that you have hold her next to you when you 1st heard avell.
krispin is one who never fail to make me feel he loves me everyday. i cant count on my finger how many times he will say 'i love you so much' not just i love you but there is always the so much.
kerks is different na, we were even planning to visit philippines kahit sya lang to visit you but now you're gone. im still trying to discuss with him na at least kahit sya bumisita sa pinas. kung sya lang i can afford it. you will be surprise sana everyone is.
something bad happened to me late last year. i was in a long week of anger and depression. but after the anger and depression i feel i am relieved, happy in fact not to the point that im happy that someone will be carrying guilt of sin (maybe for a lifelong) noh, iam not happy about that. i am happy because i knew that i will not be breathing of that unpleasant air of depression, that i will not be angry anymore.
i even cry when i feel the freedom, the relief of that feeling for 8 long years. no more humiliation, no more thinking what ive said and not will not please her, the chain of that suffering is over. the undirect hurtful words that i hear over and over again will no longer haunt me. for that i thank God above sincerely, its good to be free.
what i was thinking today and most of those days though is you, when i am crying over it. we will be walking hand in hand sa neighborhood saying hello to your friends while talking about it. i could have told you everything, you will share my pain and my courage at the same time - for that i misses you so much.
i did say and felt the pain of other and learned this quote: it is bitter to taste your own medicine and even too painful if you injected it to yourself.
Monday, November 2, 2009
hello nanay
below are email and news gathered regarding all saints day for this year:
---------
from dedeng:
Glenda Palma Pimentel October 31 at 8:31pm
bernard, bri and bea visited patricia...nov.1st they gave respect and offered nanays favorite flower..orhchids. white candles for eternal repose of her souls..glenn and i stayed in laguna and we pray ...tonight we will light a white candle symbol of our love...we are happy that Jesus gave us a sign... she is now rejoicing with the Lord in heaven...after her death nagdasal ako i ask Jesus to gave us a sign that nanay is ok. hindi pa natapos ang maghapon binigay ang sign. while praying nakakita ako ng puting bagay na inaabot sa'kin meaning she's happy..that same night si bri may inaabot na bond paper hindi daw nya mapantay ang pagtupi...i cried ...tears of joy..yun ang same senario na nakita ko while praying, same day Jesus answered my prayer....
------------
replied from dedengs news:
ohh thats was nice. i did not thought about her at all. all saints day here, halloween - and all i did is to take krispin to his errands. i was so tired taking him from one party to another event with his costume and make-up. Halloween is big here with krispin at his age. for years i never thought of anyone dying or praying for any soul, its good to forget - it feels alive afterall.
yeah after all this time, i still didnt feel your gone. much love lina
---------------
spoke to ate pol today and she also lighted a candle for you. chloe told her that if she light the candle in front of the house, people may think that she is celebrating the halloween day so she lighted it thru her garden in able to avoid answering the door for trick 'r treat kids candy collection.
--------------
kerks went to church and told her to pray for me.
---------
from dedeng:
Glenda Palma Pimentel October 31 at 8:31pm
bernard, bri and bea visited patricia...nov.1st they gave respect and offered nanays favorite flower..orhchids. white candles for eternal repose of her souls..glenn and i stayed in laguna and we pray ...tonight we will light a white candle symbol of our love...we are happy that Jesus gave us a sign... she is now rejoicing with the Lord in heaven...after her death nagdasal ako i ask Jesus to gave us a sign that nanay is ok. hindi pa natapos ang maghapon binigay ang sign. while praying nakakita ako ng puting bagay na inaabot sa'kin meaning she's happy..that same night si bri may inaabot na bond paper hindi daw nya mapantay ang pagtupi...i cried ...tears of joy..yun ang same senario na nakita ko while praying, same day Jesus answered my prayer....
------------
replied from dedengs news:
ohh thats was nice. i did not thought about her at all. all saints day here, halloween - and all i did is to take krispin to his errands. i was so tired taking him from one party to another event with his costume and make-up. Halloween is big here with krispin at his age. for years i never thought of anyone dying or praying for any soul, its good to forget - it feels alive afterall.
yeah after all this time, i still didnt feel your gone. much love lina
---------------
spoke to ate pol today and she also lighted a candle for you. chloe told her that if she light the candle in front of the house, people may think that she is celebrating the halloween day so she lighted it thru her garden in able to avoid answering the door for trick 'r treat kids candy collection.
--------------
kerks went to church and told her to pray for me.
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
skirt & slit
i was driving back home today when I remember, you used to make me a pencil cut skirt with a slit. how i love those skirts and i guess i started to use it at a very young age. most of it are done by you and realize how talented you are. sana i got that skill. nowadays i have to use a staple pag may tastas ang palda ko. i guess its too late to learn sawing ha.
loveyah!
loveyah!
Sunday, July 19, 2009
tita nel
was sad hearing the new from ate pol. she's still in hong kong and living the old life na. saving funds for her funeral daw and still working but for now, a dishwasher at night to survive living. sad. no aimee yet.
Sunday, July 5, 2009
tita bebot & update
tita bebot pass away. precy from japan was texting me and I decided to call ate pol after I gotten 3 text about tita bebot being in the hospital and no one is helping. ate pol took it ok and finally decided to help.
tatay & jhun is not in good terms about the bahay. tess got in between to fix it. i guess its ok for now. i saw de-deng and family sa facebook and that makes me happy. at least I can connect to them.
we went camping at gualala. its avell 1st camping trip and we just stayed for a night. it was too cold and the kids are bored. drive to gualala is pretty bt with an intense road. zigzag and a cliff for at least an hour.
tatay & jhun is not in good terms about the bahay. tess got in between to fix it. i guess its ok for now. i saw de-deng and family sa facebook and that makes me happy. at least I can connect to them.
we went camping at gualala. its avell 1st camping trip and we just stayed for a night. it was too cold and the kids are bored. drive to gualala is pretty bt with an intense road. zigzag and a cliff for at least an hour.
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