the Atis tree

that was not a dream, you did visited me last night but that was a nice drop-by:  here's how it started:

i dream of this house that we live in, in a number of times actually. this house has fruit trees and flower plants too at the front yard. you love trees, plants, flowers and many kinds. 

as it started:  tess and her family arriving at the house to visit us, no occasion just a usual thing that we do.  there was also a baboy from one of the hundred stuff that tess to unload from their car, the usual tess. and i saw kuya boy walking behind the baboy.  the baboy is scheduled for lechon. boys thing to do, tatay and kuya boy to lechon together like the two do get along.  maybe you're telling me that they will do somehow in another area of life.

anyway, in the dream abigail and yeye is very clear perhaps because they are the two that are grown enough to remember me whenever i visited you guys in philippines.  i took the two girls to tour the house, like it was big but no - it's not a big house.  somewhere during the same day, i walked outside the house to mend the flower plants and ended up at the fruit trees.  we have mango tree, atis and something else.  i started picking fruits for some are getting over ripe and took it inside.  yeye followed me the 2nd time and started to pick fruits with me.  some of the atis are getting over ripe but some are still too hard to pick.  we kept picking different fruits from different trees until we have to grab a container and yeye took a ladder to pick more.  the dream went on and on picking fruits, yeye climbing up and down the ladder until one of the atis stuck on my hand, i was staring at it then i remember ...... when you once told me the story of atis.

you once visited vioy house and so happen that they have an atis tree.  i was living with them at that time and i guess you are actually visiting me instead of them.  you adored the atis tree at the front yard while over looking standing at vioy's front door. the sprouting little fruits at it's current season - bearing fruits.  while in the moment of adoring the atis tree, you asked rita if you can have some.  rita looked at the tree the way you adored it, then turned to you and said 'you can't have some'.  she was smiling though when she told you that, not a smile of an insult but it is to cover how it might hurt you.  and it did hurt you.

it hurt you so much you said, it made you depress and told me the story a few days later or i think you told that to me when we were back in our home.  i know its depression 'coz you did not say a word back and if its anger you have screamed already.  i dont think you are nagsusumbong sa'kin its just that you are hurt and you subconsciously telling the story.

somehow the atis that's stuck in my hand, one iam staring at, one that stop me from placing it in the container, made me remember you. but somehow remembering the past i did not feel you are upset nor depress.  you are actually smiling while i played the memory of that day you were telling me the atis tee.  and that's when i felt it was not a dream and that you are smiling next to me - you made me feel you are happy wherever you are.  you are happy with us and i know that.

thanks for dropping by, i like that and i wouldn't mind you doing it often.

love you nanay,

lina