Wednesday, December 5, 2012

my textmate passed away 'dust in the wind'

Dear Tatay,

To this date I am still learning from you.  Did not know that punerarya need to wait 10 hours before they can move nor touch a dead soul.  You're a constant mentor and never failed to teach your children just about everything.  I just talked to Jhun-jhun and somehow we manage to laugh things of how you reason out for anything.

Now I will be missing your text and thank goodness you can text.  In an effort to be close to you I promised myself that I will text you at lease every week to check on you which you may have not notice we do.

There are too many things that I would sincerely like to express how grateful I am to having you as a father and some people say you are not my father.  I have never believe it nor you made me feel that you are not.  I will be truthful to what I will say next.  When I was young I used to hate how extremely strict you are to me, you will do anything to make me do the right thing.  You will make me choose to practice reading or fetch a water and fill up a dam.  Of course, I will choose to fill up a dam and when its done, you did not leave me alone and I ended up practice reading.  How much I hate you those times.  When I know your heading home from work, I will go and hid myself at the rooftop of our house and spend my afternoon until you get drunk and fall asleep, I am free for any task you may want to me do to study.  That does not happen everyday.  The continuous task to study goes on and I finally learned.  I did not realize it before but when I started learning to read, I did not stop afterall.  I found myself reading, writing and reading that led me an opportunity to work overseas. 

My life change dramatically.  I live a life too busy and too fast and each time I got a letter from you when I am in Hong Kong I cry, not that you say bad things it is too fatherly letter for a daughter.  For many years I worked you never asked a single cents from me not even once even when you are sicked.  Between phone calls when I am now here in US and I told you that my life is so different compared in HK you said you "i have $200 dollars, you want me to send it to you?"  I will never forget that offer 'coz I dont think anyone offered me that much.

I am lucky to know that I once a daughter, that I have a father that made me feel like one.  In spite of shortcoming you may have, I understand that none of it, is too cause any of us pain or sufferings there is always a goal to what you do.  People had an impression that you dont communicate well what people dont know is how loud, precise and clearly you carried a communication.  I used to say with my friends when we talked about our parents and I will reply 'dont get me wrong, i love my parents Tatay & Nanay but for some reason, I can sit with my father from dusk to dawn talking just about nothing and anything while I'll be with my mom and in less than an hour one of us is ready to twist each other's neck".

I am lucky to know you and for that I will always be thankful how wide you open your heart to me not only to carry me under your wings but to be there as always 'till the last string of your breath!

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